俺は王子だしい~♪ (technophile) wrote in beststoryever,

The Best Story Ever: CHAPTER 22





THE BEST STORY EVER





CHAPTER 22


ok so ANYWAY when the screen fades back in the SUPER NINJA SENSEI's all BEATEN and DEAD and SUICIDED BY NINJA SLIPPERS and stuff, and the whole SUPER SECRET NINJA HIDEOUT is shaking and the NINJA are totally running out of the SUPER SECRET NINJA HIDEOUT as fast as they can, and little robot and little robot ferret and little robot sheep are standing on the BOSS PLATFORM (which is ALSO shaking) in the middle of the LAKE OF LAVA (which is ALSO ALSO shaking) and going omg wtf wtffff and there are like ROCKS FALLING everywhere and LAVA SPLASHING all over the place, and the little robots are like WTF IS HAPPENING WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE (and like for real this time 'cause this is totally a cutscene, not like a battle or something lolol)

and THEN, right, AND THEN, everything EXPLODES again only it's not like last time where there's just like a BOOM or whatever this time there's an EXPLOSION and a BOOM but it's like UPWARD, right, and the LAVA inside the SUPER SECRET NINJA HIDEOUT inside the VOLCANO like ERUPTS and SPOUTS and TOTALLY EXPLODES and the little robots are like o shiiiiiiiiit something's happening and then this HUGE FOUNTAIN OF LAVA like SPEWS right beneath the BOSS PLATFORM and the whole BOSS PLATFORM goes FLYING UPWARD through the VOLCANO SPOUT THING carried by the LAVA and the little robots are like o shiiiiiiiiit still and are like hanging onto the floor of the BOSS PLATFORM and they're TOTALLY FLYING UPWARD TOO

and the whole VOLCANO is like GROWWWWWRRRRRRRRRR kind of like a DINOSAUR only like FIVE TIMES BIGGER and the LAVA keeps SPEWING and SPEWING and it's like you know when you drink like WAY TOO MANY energy drinks, I mean like WAY TOO MANY, like FOURTEEN or FIFTEEN or SIXTEEN DOZEN BOTTLES (I've totally done that) and then you tell somebody to like PUNCH YOU IN THE STOMACH just for FUN and they're like wtf no man but you're like PUNCH ME and they're like wtf no man but you're like PUNCH ME COME ON COME ON PUNCH ME DON'T BE A LITTLE WUSS until they're like OK FINE and then they DO and you like SPEW all of it back out and it just keeps SPEWING AND SPEWING like ALL OVER THE PLACE, kind of like that only like UP instead of DOWN or SIDEWAYS or ALL OVER EVERYBODY and instead of ENERGY DRINKS it's LAVA, kinda like that

but anyway so the whole BOSS PLATFORM gets SPEWED out of the SUPER SECRET NINJA HIDEOUT inside the VOLCANO and it's all like FWOOOOOOOOOOSH totally like those AWESOME RIDES at the WATER PARK and stuff except instead of water it's LAVA and instead of like LOGS or TUBES or something it's a BOSS PLATFORM and anyway the BOSS PLATFORM and the little robots go FLYING out of the VOLCANO and they're like SOARING THROUGH THE AIR because they totally got like LAUNCHED and they're flying over tar pits and glaciers and jungles and forests and plains and stuff ALL THE WAY TO THE OCEAN (HAHAHA did you see that, I totally made up for the little robots not having jet packs again, they might not even NEED jet packs by the end HAHAHA oh man I'm extremely smart)

but ANYWAY the whole BOSS PLATFORM flies and flies and flies and then it CRASHES like FWBAAAAAAAAAAAM and the SHORE and DOCKS and PIRATE and EXTREME BOXERS and INFERNO BEES and SCREEN and CAMERA and EVERYTHING like totally SHAKE from the impact and once the SAND and CRABS and SEASHELLS and stuff like stop flying EVERYWHERE the little robots climb off the BOSS PLATFORM and are like whoa we're back at the OCEAN again and the PIRATE is like FJARRRRRRRRRR (which means hello again in Piratese or "a long, narrow estuary with steep sides, made when a glacial valley is filled by rising sea water levels" in Vikingian, we learned that in school) and the EXTREME BOXERS are like hey dudes, sup, we were wondering when you were gonna get here, and the INFERNO BEES are like bzzz or something, and the little robots are like whoa hey EXTREME BOXERS AND INFERNO BEES why aren't you guys already fighting

and the EXTREME BOXERS are like well you told us to come here but you didn't give us the right EXTREME PASSWORD and stuff, the PIRATE dude here won't take us because ours isn't like LONG enough or something so we've just kinda been waiting here for you guys to show up and the little robots are like OH YEAH duh and they're like hey mr. pirate can you take us out to the EPIC BATTLE, these EXTREME BOXER guys are from THE LIMIT and they're pretty EXTREME and they're our friends, we went all the way TO THE LIMIT to get them, oh yeah and these BEES ON EXTREME FIRE are INFERNO BEES, they're with the SAMURAI so they're our friends too, they're gonna help the extreme pirates fight the ninja and stuff, and the PIRATE is like HNARRRRRRRR (which means ok in Piratese, they have a LOT of words for ok, ok, it's like the most important word ever in the history of ever)

so then ALL OF THEM get in the BOAT with the PIRATE (and all of them is totally like a little ROBOT, a little robot FERRET, a little robot SHEEP, FIVE HUNDRED MILLION INFERNO BEES, and like FIVE BILLION TRILLION EXTREME BOXERS now, they all fit because it's an EXTREME BOAT ok, EXTREMENESS breaks all rules of physics it's like proven fact, why do you think they're breaking like world records all the time, people just keep taking more VITAMIN EXTREME and getting MORE EXTREME, plus the INFERNO BEES just kind of fly along anyway) but ANYWAY so the PIRATE takes them all out to the EPIC BATTLE at the PIRATE ARMADA and oh MAN the EPIC BATTLE just got like EVEN MORE EPIC while the little robots are gone and it just gets even MORE EPIC when the EXTREME BOXERS are like YEAHHHHHHHH FIGHTINGGGG and they DIVE IN and INFERNO BEES follow them

and oh MAN I don't even know like HOW TO DESCRIBE IT, there's SO MUCH STUFF GOING ON, I mean there are NINJA trying to stab HOLES in the SHIPS and then there are PIRATES like trying to stab the NINJA with HOOKS and SWASH their BUCKLES and BUCKLE their SWASHES and NINJA being all NO WE MUST PROTECT OUR BUCKLES AND SWASHES and they're totally FIGHTING over them, and then there's SHARKS swimming around all like DUN DUN, DUN DUN, DUN DUN and eating NINJA in INNER TUBES and then there's COWBOYS fighting the VELOCIRAPTORS and totally like JUMPING ON THEIR BACKS and RIDING THEM AROUND and being all YEEHAW RAPTORS and the RAPTORS are being like KREEEEEEEEAWWWWWWWWWR, and there's SAMURAI like having a KILLING THEMSELVES COMPETITION with the NINJA and there's like HARAKIRI AND SEPPUKU AND TEPPANYAKI ALL OVER EVERYBODY'S SHIT, and there's CAVE VIKINGS who are just kind of normal VIKINGS now because they're not in CAVES any more (but they still have EXTREME BEARDS and the EXTREME BEARDS ARE FLYING ALL OVER THE PLACE) and they're like LOOTING AND PILLAGING EVERYTHING and the GIANT IGUANA is totally helping them LOOT AND PILLAGE and totally KILLSTEALING and NINJA LOOTING off of EVERYBODY (but killing too so it's ok) and then there are the SPARTANS like yelling and screaming and CAPSLOCKING THEIR HEADS OFF and the NINJA going like WTF because NO MATTER HOW MANY SPARTANS THEY KILL THERE'S LIKE ALWAYS THREE HUNDRED OF THEM, ALWAYS THREE HUNDRED, LIKE FOREVER, and now there are totally like EXTREME BEES ON FIRE like FLYING AROUND EVERYWHERE and getting in EVERYBODY'S HAIR and BONNETS or something and NINJA (and their BONNETS) are totally like GETTING SET ON FIRE and they're like OH SHIT WE'RE ON FIRE OH SHIT and running around except then they're getting KICKED IN THE FACE by all the EXTREME BOXERS (who kick them in the face with their HANDS) and the NINJA are like wtf that's not FAIR they can KICK WITH THEIR HANDS and the EXTREME BOXERS are all like HAHAHA THIS IS HOW WE FIGHT AT THE LIMITTTTTTTTTT

and then the LITTLE ROBOTS JOIN IN TOO and then it's all CLANG CLING CLONG (those are the PIRATES and NINJA with the swashing and buckling and hooks) and KREEEEEEEAWRRRRRR YEEHAW (those are the COWBOYS and RAPTORS) and DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN AIEEEEEEE (those are the SHARKS and NINJA) and then some silence because the GIANT IGUANA and VIKINGS THAT AREN'T IN A CAVE ANY MORE are too busy looting and pillaging to make noise, and then there's some CAPSLOCKING (those are the SPARTANS) and then BZZZT FSHHHH AAAIEE CRACKLE (those are the INFERNO BEES and stuff on EXTREME FIRE) and then like ONE TWO ONE TWO (those are the EXTREME BOXERS totally KICKING with their FISTS) and then KSSHHH FZZZT PSSSHHH FWOAAAAH KSHAAAOOOWWWW (those are the little robots and their SUPER EXTREME KENDO LASER SWORDS) and then o no o no o / no o no o no o no / o no o no-o (that's the little robot sheep and it's WUSS HAIKU) and then RETREAT RETREAAAAAAAAAAT HAHAHAHAHAHA (which are the NINJA totally like RUNNING AWAY and everybody else LAUGHING)

but THEN like once all the NINJA run away to a good distance they TOTALLY like gather up into a BIG GROUP again and they're all like OK GUYS it's totally time for the SUPER SECRET BACK UP PLAN, are all the NINJA and VELOCIRAPTORS here and all the NINJA are like YEAH and the VELOCIRAPTORS are like GREAWEERRRRR and the NINJA are like ARE YOU READY and the NINJA are like YEAHHHHHHHH and the VELOCIRAPTORS are like GRWARORRRRRRRRRRRRR and the PIRATES and COWBOYS and SHARKS and SAMURAI and INFERNO BEES and EXTREME BOXERS and SPARTANS and VIKINGS and GIANT IGUANA and LITTLE ROBOTS are like OH SHIT OH SHIT WHAT'S HAPPENING

because suddenly the NINJA and VELOCIRAPTORS start like CLIMBING ON EACH OTHER and it's not even like CLIMBING ON EACH OTHER like STANDING ON EACH OTHER'S HEADS OR SITTING ON EACH OTHER'S SHOULDERS OR SOMETHING, no, this is like CLIMBING ON EACH OTHER LIKE FOOTBALL PLAYERS, like TOTALLY in a GIANT HUGE PILE, like a GIANT PYRAMID of NINJA AND VELOCIRAPTOR BODIES just kind of LYING ALL OVER EACH OTHER and sometimes tumbling off but JUST GETTING BACK UP AGAIN and everyone still on the PIRATE ARMADA are like wtf wtf what are the NINJA and RAPTORS even DOING but THEN

BUT THEN

this SINGLE VOICE CRIES OUT FROM THE PILE OF NINJA AND VELOCIRAPTORS

(and it's totally the voice of the next SUPER NINJA SENSEI because the second strongest ninja totally immediately became the SENSEI after the first one died, duh)

AND THE VOICE FROM INSIDE THE PILE OF NINJA AND VELOCIRAPTORS

IS TOTALLY LIKE

OK DUDES AND NINJA AND RAPTORS!

SUPER SECRET BACK UP PLAN!!!

TRANSFORMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!

AND THEN THE PILE OF NINJA AND VELOCIRAPTORS TOTALLY STARTS GLOWING AND EVERYBODY'S LIKE

OH SHIT

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