俺は王子だしい~♪ (technophile ) wrote in beststoryever ,

The Best Story Ever: CHAPTER 23





THE BEST STORY EVER





CHAPTER 23


and THEN when the NINJA is done screaming TRANSFORMMMMMMMMMM and stuff, and the GIANT PILE OF NINJA AND VELOCIRAPTORS stops GLOWING and the LIGHT becomes like NOT BLINDING and stuff, everybody (all the rest of them are still standing on the NOT SINKED ships of the PIRATE ARMADA still so they're pretty far away but this pile is PRETTY GIANT) but ANYWAY they uncover their eyes and then all the PIRATES and SUPER ATTACK PIRATE SHARKS and COWBOYS and SPARTANS and SAMURAI and VIKINGS and GIANT IGUANAS (except there's only one) and INFERNO BEES and EXTREME BOXERS and LITTLE ROBOTS are like WHOAAAAAAAA and also WTF WTF WTF WHAT JUST HAPPENED, HOW DID THE NINJA SUDDENLY DO THAT

BECAUSE NOW instead of a GIANT PILE OF NINJA AND VELOCIRAPTORS there's only ONE GIANT NINJA, and it's not even just a GIANT NINJA, it's a GIANT NINJA VELOCIRAPTOR and oh MAN it's not even a GIANT NINJA VELOCIRAPTOR any more, it's like the size of FIVE THOUSAND BILLION VELOCIRAPTORS, plus it's like a BIGGER dinosaur, it's like a GIANT NINJA T-REX or GIANT NINJA GODZILLA or something (but mostly T-REX because GODZILLA totally gets like beaten in every movie ever by like stupid ordinary humans and is totally a WUSS) but ANYWAY it's a GIANT NINJA T-REX that's like the SIZE OF ASIA and it's TOTALLY made out of like METAL like ALL OVER so it's like a GIANT ROBOT NINJA T-REX

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL, THIS ISN'T JUST AN ORDINARY GIANT ROBOT NINJA T-REX, I mean this GIANT ROBOT NINJA T-REX is EVEN MORE EXTREME THAN THAT, like it TOTALLY knows EXTREME NINJUTSU and EXTREME KARATE and EXTREME TAE KWON DO and EXTREME KUNG FU and EXTREME TAI CHI and EXTREME FENG SHUI and how to KILL itself in like FIVE BILLION WAYS (and that's ONLY with NINJA SLIPPERS) and it totally has like FIVE HUNDRED BLACK BELTS, like there are BLACK BELTS ALL OVER THIS THING just HANGING OFF OF IT EVERYWHERE, and it doesn't even have CLAWS it has like GIANT NINJA SHURIKEN FOR HANDS and it doesn't even have a TAIL, it's TAIL IS ANOTHER GIANT BLACK BELT THE SIZE OF CANADA and it's standing in the middle of the OCEAN and being like

GRAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! I am a SUPER EXTREME GIANT ROBOT NINJA T-REX WITH LASER BEAM EYES (because it totally has those too)

and everybody still on the PIRATE ARMADA are like OH SHIT WTF IS THAT, IT'S LIKE A SUPER EXTREME GIANT ROBOT NINJA T-REX WITH LASER BEAM EYES, and the SUPER EXTREME GIANT ROBOT NINJA T-REX WITH LASER BEAM EYES is like HAHAHA THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I AM!!! and then it SHOOTS ITS LASER BEAMS (from its EYES) like RIGHT AT THE PIRATE ARMADA and totally just SWEEPS with them like GIANT LASER SWORDS and everyone's like O SHIIIIIIIIIT and then like THREE HUNDRED MILLION SHIPS totally EXPLODE ALL AT ONCE and everybody is like O SHIT SQUARRRRRRRRRRED and then it DOES IT AGAIN and everybody's like O SHIT CUUUUUUUUUBED and then it does it AGAIN AGAIN and everybody's like O SHIT WHATEVER COMES AFTER CUUUUUUBED

but then CAPTAIN HOOKBEARD THE HOOK LEG HOOK!!!!!!!!!!! (do you remember him he hasn't been around for a while but ANYWAY he's still there) gets up and he's like AHOY!!!!!!!!!! (which means we can't just let them attack us!! we have to attack them back!! in Pirate Kingese) and the COWBOYS and SAMURAI and INFERNO BEES and VIKINGS and GIANT IGUANA and SPARTANS and EXTREME BOXERS and LITTLE ROBOTS are like YEAHHHHHH and the PIRATE ARMADA totally goes at FULL SPEED (which is like FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND LIGHT YEARS A SECOND, light should totally be measured in terms of the PIRATE ARMADA, not the other way around) but anyway THEY GO AT FULL SPEED toward the SUPER EXTREME GIANT ROBOT NINJA T-REX WITH LASER BEAM EYES and everybody totally like JUMPS ON IT AND ATTACKS

but none of it WORKS because the SUPER EXTREME GIANT ROBOT NINJA T-REX WITH LASER BEAM EYES is just WAY TOO EXTREMELY HUGE (I mean like it's the SIZE OF ASIA and stuff, I mean them attacking it is like if you took a SWORD or something and started ATTACKING THE GROUND IN ASIA, I don't think ASIA would really CARE or anything, you're not gonna do much DAMAGE and stuff even if you're a PIRATE that's like FOURTEEN FEET TALL, and this thing's not even made of GROUND, it's made of METAL so it's even HARDER) and so there are like HOOKS bouncing off ALL OVER THE PLACE and JUMP ROPES getting all TANGLED and stuff and COWBOYS SHOOTING TUMBLEWEEDS but those don't do anything EITHER, and the SUPER EXTREME GIANT ROBOT NINJA T-REX WITH LASER BEAM EYES is just like HAHAHAHA!! and is FLINGING everybody off of it like LEFT AND RIGHT AND UP AND DOWN with it's GIANT BLACK BELT TAIL THE SIZE OF CANADA (and that thing HURTS I mean imagine being HIT WITH CANADA) and it's all like YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME HAHAHA FSSSH KZZZT (that last part was it LASERING some more)

and so CAPTAIN HOOKBEARD THE HOOK LEG HOOK!!!!!!!!!!! sees it's pointless and stuff and he's totally like PLANK THE MATEYS!!!!!!! (which means GUYS RETREAT THIS ISN'T WORKING, RETREAT RETREAT in Pirate Kingese) and all the PIRATES are like PFARRRRRR (which means ok in Piratese, I told you that word was important right) and everybody that's not dead climbs back on the PIRATE ARMADA and the PIRATE ARMADA totally RETREATS again until it's like a SAFE DISTANCE AWAY or something but THIS TIME the SUPER EXTREME GIANT ROBOT NINJA T-REX WITH LASER BEAM EYES TOTALLY like CHASES AFTER THEM and it's CATCHING UP PRETTY QUICKLY and if it REACHES them and stuff everybody knows they're all like TOTALLY DEAD (and by TOTALLY DEAD they mean PERMANENTLY DEAD because then the ETERNAL WAR is over and the BEST STORY EVER ENDS and stuff)

but they can't just keep RETREATING and stuff 'cause like eventually they're gonna run out of OCEAN to even RETREAT IN and it's not like the PIRATE ARMADA can go on LAND or anything, so they have to come up with a way to somehow FIGHT the SUPER EXTREME GIANT ROBOT NINJA T-REX WITH LASER BEAM EYES, and so CAPTAIN HOOKBEARD THE HOOK LEG HOOK!!!!!!!!!!! is like BLIGEDOG ME DECKLUBBERS!!!!!!! (which means we have to come up with a way to somehow FIGHT the SUPER EXTREME GIANT ROBOT NINJA T-REX WITH LASER BEAM EYES in Pirate Kingese) and everyone's like BUT HOW, NONE OF OUR WEAPONS EVEN HURT IT OR ANYTHING, WHAT CAN WE DO, and CAPTAIN HOOKBEARD THE HOOK LEG HOOK!!!!!!!!!!! is like LAND BLOW!!!!! (which means I DON'T KNOW BUT WE BETTER THINK OF IT FAST BECAUSE WE JUST RAN OUT OF OCEAN TO RETREAT IN in Pirate Kingese) and everybody's like OH SHIT WHATEVER COMES AFTER WHATEVER COMES AFTER CUBED

EXCEPT THE LITTLE ROBOT

EXCEPT THE LITTLE ROBOT who ISN'T like OH SHIT WHATEVER COMES AFTER WHATEVER COMES AFTER CUBED, and everyone's like hey LITTLE ROBOT why aren't you all like OH SHIT WHATEVER COMES AFTER WHATEVER COMES AFTER CUBED and they all look at him and are like WHOAAAAAA because the little robot's been like THINKING, right, and he's all GUYS STOP THE SHIPS I HAVE A PLAN that MIGHT BE SUPER EXTREME but might also be EXTREMELY FAIL but we don't have any other choice so we might as well try it (and it BETTER BE SUPER EXTREME) but anyway we have to STOP THE SHIPS to try and do it so STOP THEM and stuff

so the PIRATES totally STOP the PIRATE ARMADA and the SUPER EXTREME GIANT ROBOT NINJA T-REX WITH LASER BEAM EYES is kinda like wtf why are they stopping and getting all WARY and NERVOUS and stuff like maybe it's a TRAP and stuff and they have like FIVE MINUTES while it STALLS or something and anyway CAPTAIN HOOKBEARD THE HOOK LEG HOOK!!!!!!!!!!! is like BARNACLES OF EIGHT!!!! BARNACLES OF EIGHT!!!! (which means ok dude hurry tell us this PLAN THAT MIGHT BE SUPER EXTREME in Pirate Kingese) and the little robot is like OK GUYS EVERYONE HUDDLE AROUND so then they HUDDLE and the little robot tells them his PLAN THAT MIGHT BE SUPER EXTREME

IN THE NEXT CHAPTER HAHAHAHA

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